Letters from Marilyn - Update 30

It has been six years, dear readers, and it is a beautiful new day for an entry.

I am back with a life update regarding the past six years, as well as a long overdue update on Letters from Marilyn. I will do my best to keep the life update brief so that we can focus on the future of Letters from Marilyn. I hope this post explains - but not excuses - my absence.

Where I Was

Since September of 2019, I spent the remainder of that year focused on a few other projects I had set aside, with the full intention to return to Letters from Marilyn in January 2020.

2020, as we know, brought a global pandemic. The mental load of this time period was challenging as an educator. In addition, I was having a persistent arthritis flare. Prior to 2020, my last flare was in 2011, and I had forgotten how physically difficult it could be.

Letters from Marilyn - Update 29

It's September, babes!

I adore this time of year, with the cooler temps and hint of autumn on the way. I love my weekend mornings. The lounging around leisurely in my pajamas, sipping my tea, and having uninterrupted hours to nerd-read manuals and science books. Current selection: The Man Who Caught the Storm: the Life of Legendary Tornado Chaser Tim Samaras by Brantley Hargrove (I am finding it a riveting nonfiction read!). The light sweater dresses and slip-on shoes - easy fashion for my "always on the move" lifestyle. The crisp air, starry nights, and country drives.

I had intended to write this summer, but it went by so fast! It's hard to believe school has already started. Of the 30 days in June, I spend 19 of them on the road. Those days were filled with driving, many states, music jam sessions, coffee, new people, good friends, and lots of exploration. 

Letters from Marilyn - Update 28

Happy May, readers!

It has been a couple of months since my last entry, which means it is time for a new post! With it comes a life update, a writing update, and a Letters from Marilyn update.

To be honest: I'm exhausted. I love education, but these past few months especially have worn me out. I've spent the past thirteen straight weeks implementing brand-new units. As a surprise to no one, I took on too much, put in a lot of evening and weekend hours, and thus upset my work/life balance. The end result: yes, I'm tired.

But onward and upward, loves. I promise I'm taking some time to slow down. While my extroverted self enjoys all the busy-ness, my introvert heart needs time to rest. Come find me at the end of June, whether you're family, friend, or acquaintance. With the school year done in 13 days and a few roadtrips planned for the start of summer, I know I'll be much more relaxed.

Letters from Marilyn - Update 27

Hello readers!

It has been a while and yes, I have missed you all dearly. You have asked, so I will certainly give a life update since last June's post.

July was hard. One of my dear friends died unexpectedly. When someone you have known for 24 years of your 29 years of life is suddenly no longer here, it really hurts. 

August and September brought the return of a new school year. I have new curriculum, even more students, and have encountered many changes as this academic year has progressed.

In October and November I was taking two online courses to gain credits for educator license renewal in my state. They were sleep-deprived months, as I was also deep in preparation for musical auditions and rehearsals.

December and January were wonderful months. It was an equal balance of life and work, something I deeply appreciate. February, however, was a bittersweet month. You know how the saying goes: when it rains, it pours. But onward and upward, readers. There are always silver linings.

Letters from Marilyn - Update 26

Two things have been on my mind this past week: time and causality.

Time, in the purest sense of the word, is defined as the system of those sequential relations that any event has to any other, as past, present, or future; indefinite and continuous duration regarded as that in which events succeed one another.

In connection, causality is defined as the relation of cause and effect. 

When I was in college, my writing professors would have us participate in various freewriting techniques. The one I remember the most is called loop writing, in which the writer engages in a topic of choice for a timed interval. When the timed interval is up, the writer goes back to underline three or four key words, or even phrases, in their writing. One underlined segment is selected, and it becomes the starting point of the next timed interval. In essence, the writer is writing in a loop, a continual chain of ideas that are the result of the previous.

If we could describe the way our minds work, 90% of the time I would state that mine is in a loop. One idea is a result of another, and so on and so forth.

Letters from Marilyn - Update 25

Do you ever wish you could freeze time? Just to hold onto a moment for a little longer?

I have been re-reading M's letters, trying to find the words to launch her story. I have written middle chapters and end chapters, but no beginning chapters. When I place the cursor at the very start of that first page, I find myself staring at it, watching its pulsing and blinking like the ticking of a metronome. It feels like the cursor is waiting for me. Waiting for me to give it letters to form words, and words to form sentences.

Beginnings are the hardest. In writing, in starting over, in taking a step forward into an uncertain future. It is hard to change beginnings, after all. You can alter your path, change your steps, erase your words, create a different ending. But that first moment, it can never be taken back. And since my last post, I have felt without words, stuck staring at a blinking cursor on a blank page.

I have had this mental block for months. I have spent hours, days, weeks pondering how to find the words to lift the fog. I have been on countless drives to nowhere, hoping that the clear roads and skies would somehow clear my mind. I have read dozens of books, believing that immersing myself in a story would perhaps spark ideas for Marilyn's.

Letters from Marilyn - Update 24

Good morning from Montana! 

I promised myself I would take one morning to write while I was on vacation, so here I am, typing away at City Brew Coffee. 

Many of you have written to inquire how I am and how the Marilyn project is going (my last update was March 25, yikes), so I'll take some time to fill you in.

If I am being 100% honest, the last 2 weeks have been rough. I had injured my hand, which came with the frustration of canceling a piano lesson and finding two vocalists a new accompanist. A former student of mine died, too young, too soon (a death I am still processing as I try to find the words to write to her family). 

Meanwhile, my current students have been especially challenging as summer vacation draws nearer. I was in technical rehearsals for our play, which was giving me some serious sleep deprivation. I woke up at 4:00AM the night before performances with the nightmare that my entire set had disappeared, no joke. During this time, a friend had mentioned an email correspondence I sent, in which I had signed off as simply "Liv." She stated that when I don't take the time to type the remaining 3 letters in my name, it is apparently a sign I am losing my marbles. Needless to say, I am going to be more mindful when sending emails from now on!